As a parent, I spend a lot of time thinking about how somatic practices can be useful for anyone in the role of parent or caretaker.
Taking care of others is a journey. No matter how deep into somatic work I go, there is always more for me to learn about how I can show up for myself as I care for others.
This is because parents/caretakers have the enormous task of tracking another human being (or multiple human beings) as well as themselves.
What is tracking? Tracking is the process of observing a person’s state- whether they are hungry, overwhelmed, on the brink of a meltdown, or joyful and rested. Tracking oneself, it turns out, is the magic key to self-regulation while doing anything- working, creating, caring, or nurturing.
If you can begin to track yourself while you are with others, you create the possibility of staying grounded in your experience no matter what is going on around you. Take a moment with that idea. What would that be like for you?
Self-tracking, therefore, essentially creates a boundary. Imagine a shiny bubble around you- imagine the color and texture of it (it can be anything you want- it’s yours!)- and then imagine that when your kids scream or squeal, that bubble still exists. There is still space for you and your experience. Imagine how that might change parenting for you… what might it feel like?
Here is an exercise for parents to practice both tracking and self-tracking in your day:
While you are with your kids, take a moment to pause and just notice what is happening inside of you.
Are you feeling energized/depleted? Tight/relaxed? Restless/anxious?
What might you need right now? There’s no need to “do” anything yet, but just ask yourself this question with warmth and curiosity.
Now shift back to your kids. What do you notice about their nervous systems? Do they seem activated, playful, sleepy or hungry? Can you find some curiosity/warmth about what you observe? What do you imagine they might need right now?
Come back to your body. Check in with what you feel as you scan from head to toe. What is different? What is the same?
Taking your time, just see what it is like to shift your awareness back and forth- kids, you, kids, you. As you stay with that, what do you notice?